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About Deviant Artist Wasted LifeFemale/United States Group :icondark-people: Dark-People
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Deviant for 11 Years
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I peter on the porch
of the velvet Victorian house,
eccentric lime green shutters
mocking me in the breeze.
Scuffing at the peeling paint,
in morbid fascination,
while everything rots away.
Down the dusty driveway now,
searching for a future beyond
this empty failure.
Dropping down at three headstones
of children that will never exist.
And I wish that time was relevant now
because no matter how much passes
the pain of that will never go away.
Names I can not say.
My make-believe burdens.
Lives that were cheated.
Lives I cheated.
Now as I lay still,
neither alive nor dead,
in the mangled garden of our dreams
unable to tend
unwilling to leave;
the vultures circle
and the crows call
for the flower maiden has fallen.
Vampires and werewolves creep across my body.
I hear their hollow words,
whispers of pleasure;
close my eyes
watching the turmoil
of pride and resignation,
shame and lust.
Just a feral being now
collared to a man’s dream.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 0 0
The Phoenix
They wonder, how a soul
bursting with light can
accompany a mind
so dark with depression;
how something scented so sweet
can ooze such bitterness when bitten.
A phoenix caged,
futilely incessant flapping,
raging against the bars,
fiery feathers fluttered and falling,
petty dustpan ash;
perpetually cursed cycle.
Still they flock,
circle in observation,
hypnotic longing
as if
the cage
causes the legend
to be beautiful.
Any lover,
who would dare,
reach between the bars,
stealing a touch,
would know that
Death had me first,
after Love’s self-righteous rejection.
And I may deny it,
but I still yearn
for his easy embrace,
to feel cold tendrils
phase through my chest.
as he rips
the hummingbird heart
from its skeletal cell,
at its tiny tenacity.
He’ll tell you about
all the suicidal drives
that I still take,
and lie about.
Because I’ll always try
to spare you my darkness,
but I know you see it.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 3
Novel Worthy
You never promised me the world,
you just showed it to me
from your faulty lighthouse,
where everything flashes and flickers.
Clutching the skirts of a seizure;
trapped in your flywheel,
spinning indefinitely.
A tentative touch would unbalance me,
send me ricocheting
off your cowardly silence,
and shooting into my grave,
black as the ace of spades.
Not a ripple in the pond.
For I was never the generator,
chained and churning underground,
just a tourist attempting to escape,
with not even indignant blame.
I built you a skyscraper
out of foolish blood oaths
and hymns written by blind faith;
while you watched
behind a screen of cracked professionalism.
Blinded by your flashbulb
as your hosepipe siphoned
everything out of me.
Like a bee in a flowerpot:
your incessant, meaningless buzzing,
as your fuzzy feelers
scoured my petals still delicate
in their forgotten youth,
forcing open buds not yet ripe,
ravenously absorbing parts previously untouched.
And now you're gardens away,
muffled by As
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 6
A Puzzle Not Worth The Bother
And while you're clumsily navigating
the pieces of my shattered heart,
I'm clenching my teeth as glass crunches
beneath your precious soles.
You apologize profusely,
but I'm more worried you'll cut yourself,
than about putting it back together.
You think it will be ornate,
like stained glass.
My laugh teeters precariously
between hope and disappointment;
I never fit into any church,
even when I wanted to.
Besides, I know it's a puzzle
not worth the bother.
I've crouched at that cramped coffee table,
staring at the same damn pieces,
until a million shades of a color all look alike.
I've arranged and rearranged
pieces that go together,
but refuse to fit.
When I began to fear this distorted image,
of myself,
I flipped the whole thing over.
My disgusted hiss was drowned
by the bitter clatter of dejected pieces.
Now I avoid looking at the treachery below.
But I don't have to even glance
at the pieces strewn on the floor
to see it again.
The animal,
the monster,
is writhing beneath th
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 5
Mature content
Damn Desire :iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 1 0
Mature content
She speaks to you in riddles... :iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 1 7
Just an Antique Vase
So much for my "perfection";
I'm just an antique vase,
intricate and interesting to ponder,
useful for a few lofty flowers;
but never to be touched
for fear of chipping or cracking
my delicate form.
If only you saw
my rotting core.
You dusted and polished me off
and altered the flower arrangement,
giving me hope.
I almost slipped from your hands
and the fear was too much.
Carefully placed back on the shelf.
So I watch
from the pedestal you placed me on,
as you pace the room
and fade away.
And what can I do?
But what did I ever do?
My dirty dust is on your hands now.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 0
Never Trust the Snake
Pacing at the border,
tail tucked,
shaking indecisively,
self-preservation screaming
for me to flee
before I drown
in the tide of emotions
threatening within.
Never trust the snake;
the embodiment of temptation and sin.
But who made him that way?
I can see beyond your tongue
that has no effect on me.
But you refuse to see
your own potential.
How can I make you?
Tearing myself apart
trying to help you.
It's like fighting myself
all over again.
Attempting to appease the apathy,
to coax it away.
If I stab you,
will you feel again?
Or would the pain just further numb you?
Are there any words
I can affect you with?
Or have you used them all yourself?
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 6
Balancing Act
The world is far prettier
reflected in someone else's eyes.
Oh how dull it all becomes
when I can't see it with you.
I am uncertain who is the crutch
and who is the damaged leg.
Or maybe we're part of some balancing act.
Suspended in constant tension,
hands clasped and arms stretched taught;
without each other we fall.
And I wonder why we let each other in.
Why you respect me.
Why I don't chase you away.
Why you're so hesitant to touch me.
Why I want you to touch me.
Why you trust me.
Why I trust you,
even though you're unpredictable
and an emotional risk.
But above all,
why you drown in doubt
of yourself,
and why I insist on having more faith in you
than you do yourself.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 0
The Magical Land of Wal-mart by nightwolfsnow The Magical Land of Wal-mart :iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 0 0 Looming by nightwolfsnow Looming :iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 0
Tell Me You Love Me
Thaw the Ice Queen,
stir her surface,
avoid her depths,
then freeze her over,
and again.
Cast light on the shadowed corner,
then let it redescend into darkness,
and again.
Make my day,
then ruin the moment.
Tell me you love me,
then say it was a joke.
And they ask me
why I'm scared to feel,
because noone else does.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 0 4
Mature content
I Am The Beast :iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 2 4
Mature content
The World's Too Beautiful :iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 1 0
Pointless Taxation
I have seen your darkness,
but it's only the shadow
cast by how big of a person you are.
It's fun to watch the light dance across your face,
but painful to see a cloud obscure your gaze.
I've seen the ground you bring to life,
and your own limbs filled with death.
Your hair reflects the sun,
and it can't warm your heart.
You can have mine;
it's better than watching you die.
Your charade is convincing,
nearly as much as my own.
Whenever we're alone
I watch you slide out of character
and slouch into your seat.
Your eyes pin mine in desperation,
searching for answers
before any questions have been asked.
Your thoughts are so heavy
you have to lean on a desk,
with the weight that crushes my chest.
My voice cracks with confused guilt
at your pointless taxation;
it's paving a road to nowhere,
but the edge of a cliff.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 0 5
The Doorway
The door is invitingly ajar
and you're huddled in the corner
glazed over in blind numbness.
You don't see me anymore.
How can you hide in the wool
you removed from my eyes?
I'll beg Oz to grant you a heart
since you won't take mine.
The suicidal coward crawls away
from his poison,
and blames its potency.
Gritting my teeth in a desperate laugh,
I accept the guilt you give.
Everything's my fault right?
Too bad I have nothing left to offer in return.
The ravens circle our death dance.
Take the knife dear,
finish it for me.
Temptation must be destroyed.
Only innocent blood
washes away sin.
Flush me out.
Death is the only doorway left.
:iconnightwolfsnow:nightwolfsnow 0 3


BBA Preview Scene - Page 3 by KayFedewa BBA Preview Scene - Page 3 :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 909 217 Patreon Reward Wallpaper - 2 by KayFedewa Patreon Reward Wallpaper - 2 :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 1,058 49 BBA Preview Scene - Page 2 by KayFedewa BBA Preview Scene - Page 2 :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 954 195 BBA Preview Scene  - Page 1 by KayFedewa BBA Preview Scene - Page 1 :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 1,473 124 A BBA Wolfpile by KayFedewa A BBA Wolfpile :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 1,368 74 Frame Creation Process by KayFedewa Frame Creation Process :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 712 29 It's coming by KayFedewa It's coming :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 1,490 92 Off We Go - Frame Preview by KayFedewa Off We Go - Frame Preview :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 1,024 67 Dropping The Frog - Animated GiF by KayFedewa Dropping The Frog - Animated GiF :iconkayfedewa:KayFedewa 990 148



Wasted Life
United States
Favourite genre of music: oldies/Pop/Soft rock/Hip Hop/Rap/Symphonic/Death/Doom Metal/Classical
Favourite style of art: Digital
Yes I am still alive! I can't believe I haven't updated a journal entry since high school haha. I went to college for two semesters, and then came home to help my dad with money. I've been dealing with some anxiety issues, I burn myself out taking care of everyone else, and I'm getting used to workplace drama. It appears a promotion is lining up for me though, so hopefully everything gets better once that goes through. I haven't written anything really. Recently I've been roleplaying on Lioden to get my creative juices flowing. I also designed a couple of tattoos for myself, which I won't post because I don't want anyone else to use them XD.
  • Listening to: White Rabbit-Collide
  • Reading: Anne Rice
  • Watching: Wolf's Rain
  • Playing: Furrypaws
  • Eating: Curly Fries
  • Drinking: Water



Add a Comment:
monochromera Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013
you've been featured..

NatsumeWolf Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013
[link] Here you are ^^
archelyxs Featured By Owner May 9, 2012
Hi there, thank you so much for the favorite! You are awesome. Have a good night! :heart: :tea:
nightwolfsnow Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
No prob! :D
Sunshine-And-Bubbles Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks For The Fave! :happybounce:
nightwolfsnow Featured By Owner May 6, 2012
Sure thing!
lamename13 Featured By Owner May 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the fav!
nightwolfsnow Featured By Owner May 6, 2012
No prob!
achromacat Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch.:)
nightwolfsnow Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2012
Interesting comic :)
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